Medication Preference Builder
This tool helps you document specific medication preferences that you want your healthcare agent to know about. These preferences will help your agent make decisions when you can't speak for yourself.
Medication #1
Your Medication Preferences Summary
Share this with your healthcare agent and doctor to ensure your wishes are respected.
Important Notes
Remember:
- These preferences should be discussed with your doctor
- This is not medical advice but a way to communicate your wishes
- Update your preferences if your medical situation changes
- Share this summary with your healthcare agent and doctor
Imagine you’re in the hospital after a stroke. You can’t speak. The doctors ask your family: Should we give her the blood thinner? What about the pain meds? Should we keep her on a ventilator? But no one knows what you’d want. That’s not just a nightmare-it’s a real scenario that happens every day. And it’s preventable.
What Is a Medical Power of Attorney?
A Medical Power of Attorney (also called a Healthcare Proxy or Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care) is a legal document that lets you pick someone you trust to make medical decisions for you if you ever can’t speak for yourself. It doesn’t take effect while you’re still able to make your own choices. It only kicks in when you’re unconscious, severely confused, or otherwise unable to communicate.
This isn’t just about life-or-death choices. It’s also about everyday medication decisions: whether to give you antibiotics for an infection, whether to use painkillers that might make you drowsy, whether to avoid certain drugs because of past side effects. Your agent-the person you name-can decide if a medication should be given orally, by injection, or not at all. They can also say yes or no to treatments like feeding tubes, dialysis, or surgery.
All 50 states recognize this document. But here’s the catch: the rules vary by state. In California, your signature alone is enough. In New York, you need two witnesses who aren’t related to you or set to inherit from you. Some states require notarization. Others let your doctor sign off on psychiatric decisions. You can’t assume what works in one state will work in another.
Why Medication Decisions Are the Biggest Blind Spot
Most people think advance directives are only about turning off machines. But the real mess happens with medication decisions.
A 2023 study in the Journal of Pain and Symptom Management found that patients with a named healthcare agent had 32% fewer conflicts over medications during hospital stays. Why? Because families often don’t know what the patient really wanted. One person thinks, “Never give opioids-she hated being groggy.” Another says, “She never said no to pain relief.”
And it’s not just emotions. Studies show agents guess correctly only about 68% of the time what their loved one would want-especially with complex meds like anticoagulants, psychiatric drugs, or antibiotics for infections.
There’s a case documented in the Indiana Health Law Review where an agent refused blood thinners because they thought the patient “never wanted to take pills.” But the patient had actually said, “If I have a clot, I want the medicine-even if I have to take it by injection.” The result? A preventable stroke.
That’s why simply signing a form isn’t enough. You need to talk.
How to Choose the Right Agent
You don’t pick your agent based on who’s oldest, who’s richest, or who’s “the responsible one.” You pick them based on three things:
- They know your values. Do they understand that you’d rather be comfortable than live hooked to machines? That you hate feeling drugged up? That you’d rather die than lose your mind to dementia?
- They’re willing to speak up. Some people avoid conflict. But your agent may need to argue with doctors, push back on family members, or say “no” to treatments that aren’t aligned with your wishes.
- They’re accessible. If your agent lives across the country and only calls once a year, they won’t be helpful in a crisis. Someone nearby-like a neighbor, close friend, or sibling who lives in the same city-is often better than a distant child.
And never name someone who stands to inherit money from you. In many states, that’s a legal conflict. Even if it’s not illegal, it looks suspicious. Pick someone who has no financial stake in your outcome.
What to Say to Your Agent (A Real Conversation Guide)
Don’t just hand them the form and say, “You’re in charge.” Have a real talk. Here’s what to cover:
- Medications you’ve had bad reactions to. “I had a terrible allergic reaction to penicillin when I was 22. Never give me anything in that family.”
- Medications you rely on. “I take gabapentin for nerve pain. If I can’t swallow pills, I need it given by injection.”
- Your feelings about sedation. “I don’t want to be kept alive if I’m just sleeping all day. I’d rather be awake, even if I’m in pain.”
- What “quality of life” means to you. “If I can’t walk, talk, or recognize my family, I don’t want aggressive treatment. I want to be calm and clean.”
- What you’ve seen happen to others. “When Mom was in hospice, they kept giving her antibiotics even though she couldn’t eat. I don’t want that.”
Write these down. Keep them in your phone. Share them with your doctor. The more specific you are, the less room there is for guesswork.
Medical Power of Attorney vs. Living Will vs. POLST
People mix these up all the time. Here’s how they differ:
| Tool | What It Does | Best For | Limitations |
|---|---|---|---|
| Medical Power of Attorney | Names a person to make decisions | Unpredictable situations, changing conditions, medication choices | Relies on agent’s understanding; can be challenged |
| Living Will | Lists specific treatments you want or refuse | Clear, fixed wishes (e.g., “No CPR”) | Can’t cover every scenario; too rigid |
| POLST/MOLST | Doctor-signed orders for life-sustaining treatments | People with serious illness (e.g., cancer, advanced heart failure) | Only valid in the state it’s signed; not for healthy people |
Think of it this way: a living will is like a GPS that says, “Turn left at the next exit.” A Medical Power of Attorney is like having a friend in the passenger seat who can reroute if there’s traffic, roadwork, or a detour you didn’t plan for.
POLST is for people already in the late stages of illness. It’s a doctor’s order-not a wish. It’s used in hospitals, nursing homes, and ambulances. If you’re healthy, you don’t need POLST. But if you have a chronic condition, it’s a powerful tool to pair with your Medical Power of Attorney.
How to Get Started (Step by Step)
You don’t need a lawyer. You don’t need to pay anything. Here’s how to do it right:
- Choose your agent. Talk to them first. Make sure they say yes.
- Download your state’s free form. Go to LawHelpDC.org or your state’s health department website. Indiana, Ohio, and California all have free, printable forms.
- Fill it out. Don’t rush. Read every line. Sign where it says. Get witnesses or notary if required.
- Have the talk. Go through your medication list, your fears, your values. Write it down. Email it to your agent.
- Give copies to: Your agent, your doctor, your pharmacist, and one family member you trust.
- Review it yearly. If you’re diagnosed with something new, if your agent moves away, or if your views change-update it.
Most forms take 20 to 45 minutes. But the conversation? That’s the real work. And it’s the part that saves lives.
What Happens If You Don’t Do Anything?
If you don’t have a Medical Power of Attorney and you become incapacitated, the law steps in. In most states, your next of kin-spouse, adult child, parent-gets to decide. But if there are multiple children? And they disagree? Then it goes to court. And that takes weeks. And during that time, you might get treatments you never wanted.
One woman in Florida spent 17 days in the ICU on a ventilator because her two sons couldn’t agree on whether to continue antibiotics. One thought she’d want to fight. The other knew she hated hospitals. No document. No clarity. Just pain, confusion, and guilt.
That’s not just a tragedy. It’s avoidable.
Final Thought: It’s Not About Death. It’s About Control.
Planning ahead isn’t morbid. It’s empowering. It’s saying: “I still get to decide-even if I can’t speak.”
Medications are one of the most personal, most intimate parts of care. Who decides whether you get morphine? Whether you get an antibiotic that might help-or make you sicker? That’s not a decision for strangers. It’s not even a decision for your family. It’s yours.
Take 45 minutes this week. Pick someone. Talk to them. Fill out the form. Give it to your doctor.
Because the next time someone asks, “What would she have wanted?”-you’ll already have answered it.
Can my agent refuse life-saving medication?
Yes-if that’s what you told them you wanted. Your agent can refuse any treatment, including antibiotics, blood transfusions, or ventilators, as long as they’re following your known wishes. But they can’t make decisions that go against state law (like refusing care for a minor) or override your written instructions if you’ve left clear directions.
Do I need a lawyer to create a Medical Power of Attorney?
No. All 50 states provide free, official forms online. You just need to sign them correctly-usually with two witnesses or a notary. A lawyer is only necessary if your situation is complex, like having multiple marriages, blended families, or psychiatric conditions that might be contested.
Can I change my agent later?
Yes. You can change your agent anytime, as long as you’re mentally capable. Just fill out a new form, destroy the old one, and tell everyone who had a copy. Your new agent takes over immediately.
What if my family disagrees with my agent’s decision?
The agent’s decision is legally binding. Hospitals must follow it unless there’s clear proof the agent is acting against your wishes. Family members can’t override the agent just because they disagree. That’s why the conversation before signing is so important.
Will my Medical Power of Attorney work if I’m out of state?
It usually will-but not always. Some states honor out-of-state forms, others don’t. If you travel often or have family in another state, get a form from that state too. The TREAT Act (2023) aims to fix this, but it’s not law yet. Don’t risk it.
Can I include my medication preferences in my living will?
You can, but it’s not ideal. Living wills are rigid. They can’t cover every possible scenario. A Medical Power of Attorney gives your agent flexibility. The best approach is to use both: a living will for big-picture wishes (e.g., “No feeding tubes”) and your agent for detailed decisions like medication dosing or route of administration.
Comments
Fern Marder December 3, 2025 at 10:11
OMG YES. My grandma had a stroke and they were about to give her blood thinners and no one knew if she’d want it. I had to scramble through her drawer and find the form-thank god I did. 😭 I’ll never forget how relieved the nurse looked when I showed it to them. This isn’t just paperwork-it’s peace of mind.
Carolyn Woodard December 5, 2025 at 06:37
It’s fascinating how the epistemological gap between declarative advance directives and emergent clinical decision-making remains under-theorized in bioethics literature. The agent’s hermeneutic burden-interpreting latent preferences under cognitive duress-exposes the inadequacy of binary consent models. One must question whether ‘known wishes’ can ever be fully operationalized without continuous, embodied dialogue.
Allan maniero December 6, 2025 at 12:17
Really well put. I’ve seen this play out in my own family-my dad had a heart attack and the docs were ready to intubate, but my sister, who he’d named as his proxy, remembered he once said he didn’t want to ‘live like a vegetable.’ She said no. It was hard, but it was right. The form’s just the start. The real magic is in the conversations you have over coffee, late at night, when no one’s watching. Those are the moments that matter.
Girish Padia December 8, 2025 at 02:52
Why do people even need this? If you’re not ready to die, you shouldn’t be lazy and not tell your family what you want. It’s common sense. I’ve seen people waste thousands on lawyers for this stuff. Just talk to your kids. That’s it. No forms needed. If you’re too weak to talk, you’re too weak to decide.
Sandi Allen December 9, 2025 at 18:06
WAIT. So you’re telling me the government doesn’t track this? And hospitals aren’t REQUIRED to have a national database? And you’re telling me my agent could be manipulated by a greedy cousin? And they could just… ignore it?!! This is a SYSTEMIC FAILURE. This is how they control us. They want us helpless. They want us confused. They want us to die on ventilators because we didn’t fill out a PDF from some state website. THIS IS A COVER-UP. I’M SENDING THIS TO MY CONGRESSMAN.
Sheryl Lynn December 10, 2025 at 09:16
Oh honey, I’m so glad you mentioned POLST. So many people confuse it with a living will-it’s like comparing a sonnet to a grocery list. The former is poetic, flexible, emotionally resonant; the latter? A bullet-pointed existential crisis. And darling, if you’re not using both, you’re not doing it right. You’re not just planning-you’re curating your legacy. 🖤
Chelsea Moore December 10, 2025 at 21:07
I just found out my mom didn’t have one. And now she’s in the hospital. And my brother wants to pull the plug. And my sister wants to keep her alive. And I’m sitting here crying because I didn’t know what she wanted. I didn’t ask. I thought she’d tell me. She never did. And now it’s too late. And I’ll never forgive myself. 😭
John Biesecker December 11, 2025 at 11:19
man this hit me hard. i had no idea meds were such a big deal. i thought it was just about being on a machine or not. but like… what if you need pain meds and your agent thinks you’re addicted? or what if you hate being sleepy but they give you something that makes you nod off? i just talked to my sister and we wrote down like 5 meds i can’t take and why. i feel way better now. 🙏
Genesis Rubi December 11, 2025 at 19:19
USA is the only country that makes you jump through 50 different hoops just to decide if you want to live or die. In Germany they have a national card. In Canada it’s automatic. Here? You need to be a lawyer to fill out a form. This is why I’m moving to Australia. No more American chaos.